Oh, by the way.

I'm sorry that this has been only about food. I swear it'll get better! And I'll have pictures!

Lifespan.

That's the title of the story that I just wrote. It's four or five glimpses into the life of a woman...puberty, to college romance, to early marriage, therapy mid-age, and finally at the birth of her granddaughter. It's still rough, but I'm excited about it.

My life is kind of exciting lately (I never thought I'd say THAT). But I've been questioning the Bible a lot lately...a struggle with finding 1. who I am as a person 2. who I am as a woman and 3. how those interact with religion and God. I was very angry and bitter...I suppose I am, in a way. It will get better, though. I'm now moving on, and I'm kind of sad about the situation as a whole. I'm not sure what it feels like. I'm not entering a dark period of depression with it. I'm not entering a hopeful period, either. I suppose I'm just exploring still. Feeling my way around a bit....


More later, I'm off to dinner. :)

Food.

B: slim fast (190)
S: 20 oz nonfat mocha (200)
L: herbed fish fillet (230) large salad w/ real dressing, some cheese (450); 1 cup canned pears (180?); 2 bites brownie (120); 3 hershey's kisses (75)
S: small apple (80); 2 hershey's kisses (50)
S: 1/2 7 grain bagel w/ TB cream cheese (330)
S: cadbury cream egg (170)
D: 1/2 cup general tsos chicken (180); 2 small beef fajitas (450); ice cream cone (200)

(2905)

Diet Doom.

So. My goal was no refined carbs or sugars for 5 days. Monday was good. Tuesday sucked. Wednesday was good until dinner. I'll start working out again tomorrow...my foot feels better.

Alright. Enough with the diet talk. I'm more than that.

I could write about my Bible struggles, but there's nothing to write about. There's a lot I don't understand.

Why don't I have anything to write about? I'm not allowing myself to feel guilty for what I've eaten. Hmm. Gah.

gongueognerguffa;gubdfvwyv brfybehowubnhwrgurbv ernreubug oauegegg

So sick...

of love songs.

Today was rough. Ate too much, broke my diet, and felt inferior. I want someone to hold me, to validate me.

Eh.

Food.

B: cranberry orange bagel (350) with cream cheese (200); 20 oz. H20
L: 1 serving chicken stir fry (320), serving of Sun Chips (140); fudgesicle (40); diet coke
S: 1/2 cup ice cream (120)
D: 2 cups whole wheat spaghetti (650), 1 cup caesar salad (150), 4 pieces garlic bread (500), 2 big brownies (350)

2820

Bitch.

I'm just going to bitch for a little bit. I'm really tired of being fat. I guess I'm trying, but not hard enough. Today I DID get my 5 fruits and veggies in, though. I'm going to set up a simple exercise routine and plan when I'm going to do it for next week. I know, I know...next week. Why wait? My foot. It's still sore, so I'll give it a few more days. I'm still trying to tackle the eating.

I need to step it up. I think I'm ready. Just scared.

It's been awhile.

B: cup of oatmeal, 2 TB brown sugar, 1/4 cup raisins, small chocolate muffin
L: large veggie salad with dressing; 1 slice pizza, 1/2 thai chicken wrap; 3 cookies; 1/2 slice bread with butter; 20 oz. H20
S: 1/4 cup mixed nuts; 1/4 cup peanut M+Ms
D: 3 small soft tacos; broccoli; 2 servings pineapple; 1/2 cup ice cream; 1/2 slice pineapple cake
S: 16 oz. chai w/ nonfat milk and whip