Yeah, whatever. I still like the song by Mika, though.
So, I think I have strep. It HURTS. I'm also worried about the night and early morning, because that tends to be the worst time. It's not just a scratchy throat; my tonsils are HUGE with white spots and mucus all over them. Yuck. I just want to crawl in bed for awhile.
MIKA Big Girl (You Are Beautiful) Lyrics
Big girl, you are beautiful Walks in to the room
Feels like a big balloon
I said "Hey girls, you are beautiful."
Diet Coke and a pizza please
Diet Coke I'm on my knees
Screaming, "Big girls, you are beautiful!"
You take your skinny girl
I feel like I'm gonna die
'Cause a real woman needs a real man, is why
You take your girl and multiply her by four
Now a whole lot of woman needs a whole lot more
Chorus:
Get yourself to the butterfly lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And there we're gonna do baby
No need to fantasize
Since the words are my phrases
A watering hole
With girls all around
Curves in all the right places
Big girls you are beautiful [4x]
Walks in to the room
Feels like a big balloon
I said "Hey girls, you are beautiful."
Diet Coke and a pizza please
Diet Coke I'm on my knees
Screaming, "Big girls, you are beautiful!"
You take your girl and multiply her by four
Now a whole lot of woman needs a whole lot more
Feels like a big balloon? Multiply by 4? I guess I'm that big. Gah. Why all this self hatred? I was doing so well earlier. I've been fine. I know I'll have these episodes. I think part of it is being sick...and being tired...and being back from break and transitioning...I need to give myself grace.
Earlier today I reached for a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I'd tried to distract myself and work through it, but all I could think about was stuffing my throat with something cold, creamy, and sweet. And I knew I had it in the freezer. I was in the middle of a bite when I realized that I was playing mommy to myself. I was trying to give myself what I needed to feel better. There are all sorts of conflicting emotions in that...but I guess I just wanted a mommy. I wasn't strong enough to go it alone.
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