Oh my word. I just need to get out. To rest.
Today is one of those days where I'm just down. I'm not sure why. I'm sure it has something to do with the boy from last night, and my mom's simple response this morning. I had cookies and pizza for lunch. It wasn't even good...but I wated it. I didn't want to care about calories. I also had a ton of candy yesterday. Ugh.
I'm tired. I don't understand why people aren't attracted to me. Maybe I don't have to understand. I *know* that I'm worth it. That I'm lovable and even pretty. But the only experience I've had is with a horny man who would do anything...nothing even remotely romantic. I wish I had that now; I just want to be touched. Somehow I think that being held will make my problems seem easier to handle.
Whatever.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
I cannot WAIT for spring break.
Posted by jill_renae at 11:56 AM
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1 comments:
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's what you need to hear. Boys and being held don't make anything better. Relationships make life more complex. Sure, they're fun and great, but they definitely are work and you can't do that work properly until you're ok with yourself.
I've told you this before, but it's worth repeating. Boys can tell a girl who is insecure and not comfortable with herself. Guys don't want to date that girl. It's not the physical Jill that blocks the boys (I know plenty of girls bigger than you with boyfriends) it's the Jill that doesn't love herself. God won't send you a boy/man until you're ready. Right now, you're not ready.
I know it's hard, but the reason you're alone right now is so you can get right with yourself. Take advantage of that opportunity.
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