revamp time. (again).

I wanted to start fresh with this blog and delete all of the old stuff, but I'm not going to. Yes, it was sporatic (sp?) and silly and off the wall, but its the past.

There are a few things I want to work on this week. I'd like to be active every day for seven days. This means at least a half hour. And I need to take my vitamins and drink my water. I'll keep track here for seven days, and we'll go from there.

I finished my third year at GFU, and went to Europe (Amsterdam, Brugge, Rouen, Normandy, Paris) for three weeks. I've been back home for about three now. It still feels like I haven't settled. The nanny job I had lined up fell through, so at the moment I'm only working PT at Lane Bryant - and trust me, I don't want to be there much longer. I've applied at six other jobs, and I think all of them can carry me through the next school year. One of them would be perfect: part time apartment manager. I'd get a place to stay for free, in exchange for working PAID 10 hours a week. That would be completely awesome. Please, everyone, cross your fingers, toes and intestines for this. I desperately need something to work out for next year involving a place to live - and a job.

What else? I really want to work on my creativity. I love all kinds of decorating and scrapbooking and making things, but I don't tend to do them because I'm afraid that I'll mess up or it won't be perfect or what I want. I need to realize that this is okay - that I can simply create something for the process of creating. I'm in the middle of a scrapbook page for Chance; the pictures are of him playing in the snow with Amy last winter. I have it roughly laid out, but it's been sitting on the counter for a few days with absolutely no commitment.

It's so easy for me to get caught up in the self-improvement area. And, yeah. There is always improvement to be made. But I have a habit of making improvement (weight loss, creativity, etc) my main goal. And that hasn't made me happy yet.

You know what makes me happy? Among other things, my uterus. I know, this is getting off topic...and it might be a little TMI for some of the gentlemen out there, but oh well. I absolutely adore having a uterus (and ovaries and breasts and all the things that go along with being female). Yes, its uncomfortable and even painful to have a period, to birth children, and to go through menopause...but I get to bring children into this world. I get to create life with someone and bring a child into this world. (And you know whats even better than that? I can choose to do this, but I'm not talking about abortion). Everyone says that women have these intuitions...and maternal instincts. And for me, its a bit true. I'm proud of the fact that I can care for people when they're ill. I'm proud of the fact that I do the soccer-mom arm save when I brake fast and a passenger is in my car. I love that there are males out there (trust me, I love men)....but I am glad that Jill Renae Lepire was born female and is not afraid to seek, discover, and express her femininity.

What do you ladies and gents like or dislike about being your particular gender?